Monday, May 15, 2006

 
Loosed in Translation

Let me preface this by saying that I DO NOT believe that this government could have successfully orchestrated Sept. 11 as a phony terrorist attack. Far, far too many people would have to have been involved and complicit in - in other words, in support of – murdering their fellow Americans. Think about it, this administration can't even keep secret a tiny little international/domestic eavesdropping program being conducted by the government MOST GUARDED agency!!

For those who still aren't skeptical about Loose Change, consider the scenario....

(in a secret government meeting room, somewhere in a secret government location....)

"Okay, so we've decided: we're going to hijack two airplanes carrying our fellow Americans and crash them into the heart of our country's financial center - which will be full of tens of thousands of American workers. That ought to get this country angry enough for war!"

"Uh, sir? I'm not sure that's enough. How 'bout we find a way to rig the buildings in advance so they'll collapse after the planes hit?"

"Hmmm.... interesting idea Smith. How would we do that?"

"Well, we'd have to hire a contractor and probably a hundred or so workers. And find a way to clear the building for several days before hand. Oh, and we'd have to make sure that all those contractors were as evil as we are and wouldn't mind killing thousands of their fellow citizens. Shouldn't be a problem."

"Great. Let's do that too. Add that to the list."

“Excuse me?”

“Yes Johnson?”

“Why do we need to collapse the buildings? Don’t we think Americans will be angry enough at hundreds of dead airline passengers and WTC workers?”

“Shut up Johnson.”

“Yes sir.”

"Hey! And let's let lots of people in the WTC know that it's going to happen so they can benefit by insider trading!"

"Now that's thinking Smith. Get right on it! So... are we decided then?"

(chorus) "Yes sir!"

"Sir, I have another great idea."

"Let’s hear it Smith."

“Let’s get a third plane and crash it into the Pentagon!”

“Wow. The Pentagon. I like the way your murderous mind works Smith. Somebody put three planes on the requisition list.”

“Well, instead of an actual plane, I was thinking we could just use a missile and tell the American public that it was a plane.”

“Hmm... so we don’t hijack a third airplane?

“Oh no, we still hijack a third plane, but we don't crash it, instead we fire a missile into the Pentagon and
say that it's the plane we hijacked.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just crash an actual plane?”

“Well, yes, it would be easier. But I was talking with Stevens here, from the Office of Making Things Exponentially More Complicated Than Necessary, and he thinks that not only should we use a missile instead of the plane that we’re going to have to hijack anyway, we should offload all the passengers and crew somewhere else, kill them, and then return the plane to the airline.”

“So we kill the passengers and crew at some other location and then transport all the dead bodies to the Pentagon?”

“No we’ll just dump the bodies somewhere else, maybe a mass grave in Iraq - dress them all up to look like dead Kurds or something.”

“How will we explain the fact that there are no passengers’ bodies at the crash site? And no plane?”

“We’ll say they were incinerated in the fire.”

“Hmmm... that makes no sense whatsoever. I think I like it.”

“Excuse me?”

“What is it this time Johnson?”

“Why return the plane to the airline?”

“Shut up Johnson”

“Yes sir.”

“Okay, so I think we’ve got it. We hijack three planes, crash two of them into the WTC which we’ve prewired to crumble into dust, take the third plane and disappear it long enough to murder the passengers and crew then return that plane to the airline (Stevens, make a note to find an evil airline that will go along with that) and fire a missile into the Pentagon that we will then claim is the missing airplane. Now that will definitely get us a war! The public will be outraged!!! So I guess we’re all decided.... Wait. As long as we’re destroying the twin towers, lets blow up that ugly little building on the side too. I never liked that building.”

(chorus) “Yes sir. You da man!”

"Sir? I recommend that we also crash a plane into Pennsylvania."

"Pennsylvania? Into what, the Amish?"

"No. Just a field in Pennsylvania."

“Smith, I like the idea of killing innocent Americans as much as the next government official, but we’ve already stretched ourselves pretty thin here. We’ve got to find evil contractors to help us blow up the WTC, evil capitalists who’re willing to profit from it even while they’re sitting in the building that they know is about to be hit by an airplane, murderers who will kill the passengers of the plane we’re not crashing and help dispose of the bodies, an evil airline to take the supposedly-crashed plane back, evil military types with missiles to launch one at the nation’s military command center... the list goes on and on. And I think we’ve got our war pretty well sewn up with what we’ve got here. I don’t see why we need to attack a Pennsylvania field.”

"Yes sir. But you haven’t heard the rest of my idea. Instead of just hijacking the plane and crashing it into the field - that would be easy enough - we’ll hijack the plane, fly it to Ohio, unload everyone (and kill them of course) then create a fake crash site in Pennsylvania and transport the bodies there along with some fake wreckage!"

"Wouldn't it be easier to just hijack the plane and crash it?"

“Well of course. But if we do it my way we could let literally hundreds MORE unnecessary people in on our plan!”

“You’re right Smith, when it comes to a huge secret conspiracy like we’re planning, the more people involved, the better.”

“Oh, and before we kill the passengers and crew, we’ll record their voices and use some brand new and still pretty untested technology to place phony phone calls to their loved ones telling those loved ones that they’re going to die! That way we’ll have even more people involved.”

"Smith, you're a genius. No one can concoct a super-secret conspiracy like you."

“Excuse me?”

“This better be good Johnson.”

“I don’t know if I can really go along with this. I mean, isn’t just one plane into one tower plenty of carnage to get us our war? After all, only a few hundred soldiers died at Pearl Harbor and that led to a World War. Isn’t this, well,
overkill?”

“You really feel that way Johnson?”

“Yes sir.”

“Somebody shoot Johnson.”

(chorus) "Yes sir!"

"Sir! Wait!"

"Smith?"

"Instead of just shooting Johnson, why don't we take off all his clothes and throw them out the window? Then we can tell people that he jumped and killed himself but that his body vaporized upon contact with the ground. Then we'll call an emergency evacuation of this building so that we can walk Johnson buck naked down thirty floors and into the parking garage, where we'll take him into the security room and have a dozen-or-so evil teamsters beat him senseless with tire irons. Then we'll get a squad of evil cheerleaders to ..... "

Comments:
Hilarious post! That pretty much sums up the scenario that would have had to occurred for said conspiracy to take place. I'll be forwarding this link to many, many, people
 
You're an idiot.
 
To anonymous: Thanks for proving our point--you left wing moron.

Thanks to the authors of this site for this awesome satire of left wing nonsense parading around as "concerned" Americans...B.S!!! I'll tell you, if Orwell was alive, he'd have a great laugh :) Good work.

Richard.
 
whoa there cowboy...
Somebody calling me an idiot doesn't automatically make them a liberal.
In case you missed it, I'm a liberal.
Conspiracy theorists are the folks who believe in a second gunman on the grassy knoll, UFO's in New Mexico and that Elvis isn't really dead. Those aren't political philosophies, they're a healthy-level-of-mistrust-in-government gone cuckoo paranoid.
Like right-wingers who believe that homosexuals have a conspiratorial "agenda" to destroy America, cuckoo paranoia can and does happen on either side of the political spectrum.
So thanks for enjoying my post, but let's agree that believing or not believing in "Loose Change" is politcally neutral.
 
ROTFLMAO!!

OMG that is funny!
 
I'm forwarding this to everyone I know.
Funniest debunking ever!!!!
I love this:
“Smith, I like the idea of killing innocent Americans as much as the next government official..."
 
Like hey man, I mean like we could make a movie about that!

I mean, like pictures and everything.

And music, yeah, music.

Holly-Wood! Man, its the truuth!
 
"So thanks for enjoying my post, but let's agree that believing or not believing in "Loose Change" is politcally neutral."

Sorry, but it really isn't politically neutral. The vast majority of those buying into this crap are left-wing liberal maroons, making it highly likely that the one calling you an idiot is a left-wing liberal maroon.

So, you're right, someone calling you an idiot in and of itself doesn't make them a liberal, it's why they chose to call you one in this instance that makes them most likely to be a left-wing liberal kook.

"In case you missed it, I'm a liberal."

True, but you aren't a "left wing moron"; the one who called you an idiot most likely is.
 
Up until this morning, I was one of the conspiracy theorists, convinced that we had been duped.

Then I saw a book on Amazon.com that expanded upon the Popular Mechanics article debunking it.

Then I saw a few sites which explained how it probably happened.

But the nail in the coffin was this article. Had this been a conspiracy, it would have involved at least 250-300 people.

In this society, there is no way that all 250 people would have kept quiet. Somebody would have cracked, either from guilt or the opportunity to make a buck.

I told two people a crushing secret two weeks ago, and yesterday I heard that secret from a completely separate source, knowing full well it had to have come from one of the people I had told last week.

There is NO WAY our government could have pulled this off, if we could.

BELEIVE ME, we would have been able to produce WMD's in Iraq whether they were actually there or not.

And nobody reading this believes that the government would kill 3100 Americans to justify a war, and then drop the ball by being unable to provide the proof of the justification.

It just doesn't jibe.

Do I believe the governement is CAPABLE of such a conspiracy? Absolutely! Ask the Allande government how things went in '72.

Could they get away with it here?

No. not really.
 
ok, this may brand me as an idiot, but I truly believe there is an "Office of Making Things Exponentially More Complicated Than Necessary" in our government.
 
When I first saw Loose Change I spoke in tongues, so I know it must be true. It was like this one time when I took so much blotter acid that I was finally able to see the truth about cats--they can walk through walls.

Besides, my girlfriend's spirit guide told her to astral project to a taco stand in Sausalito where she overheard two low-level government officials admitting they were a part of the conspiracy to a homeless guy they had sworn to secrecy. Plus, they were eating with there mouths open. I mean, there's really nothing more to say about it is there--anyone who doesn't understand this was an inside job needs there head examined.
 
Excellent, excellent, excellent. Thank you for laying out the lunacy in plain view. THANK YOU.
 
Pretty amusing I'll admit. Good writing is just that, no matter the truth of it. Fiction and comedy are quite popular disciplines but they don't have any required connection to the truth.

I have a couple of articles on my blog that refute this kind of debunking, humorous though it is.

See http://www.TotallyFixed.com for the complete list. It's quite an ideological battle going on out there, particularly between 9/11 Truth activists and researchers and capital-L Liberals who hate George Bush and don't believe a word he says except... for anything he says about 9/11.

This never made sense to me, absent some deus-ex-machina like blackmail or corruption. I just don't get how people can be so clear about the other crimes committed by this administration, mass murder included, that they just fade to black when detailed scientific analysis of the 9/11 situation is presented.

Bush appeals to anti-intellectualism of the highest order in his attempts to discredit critics / change the subject on 9/11. He should, it's the only strategy that could work. The author obviously doesn't understand, or is deliberately trying to obfuscate, the way that the black-ops world works when creating operations of mayhem and terror. The piece is funny, but not very realistic, and avoids clearly analyzing the anomalies that have presented themselves to investigators that bothered to look time and time again.

David Caputo

http://TotallyFixed.com
 
Wow, apparently I have an account here. Good job with this page. Hilarious.
 
I enjoyed this very much. I have been studying both sides since 9-11 happened and I believe that it was sheer incompetence by everyone; the airlines, the FAA, the military, everyone. For that alone we taxpayers should be angry enough to burn down Washington: 1 trillion dollars a year for defense and "intelligence" agencies and we couldn't prevent 9-11.

But let me say this about the conspiracy theorists: don't get too mad at them: remember that this has been a secretive, incompetent, war-mongering administration, Bush resisted any sort of investigation and then appointed Henry Kissinger to head the panel.

How can we call ourselves the world's only superpower with this level of incompetence?
 
Hi, I am a Czech guy who is somehow engaged in a "battle" with 9/11 conspiracy folks. Since I like your funny text, would you mind if I translate it into Czech language and publish it in some proper Czech web (signed by your nickame)? Considering that the 10th anniversary of 911 is comming quite soon, such texts will be again highly needed, I think. You can respond me to my e-mail ivankmin@centrum.cz. Thank you in advance for your answer, Ivan Kminek
 
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My web page :: ranger forum
 
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